Wednesday, August 6, 2008

8 - the secret is out

To: the goat herd
Subject: 8 - the secret is out
Date: Wed, 6 Aug 2008 18:20:36 -0500


From: "everbuddee jest kawlz me deuw"
Date: Fri, 8 Feb 2008 02:56:24 -0800 (PST)
To: "Jon W. Kertuss"

i jest ken nut beleeve sum fowlk. lest nite after i sended thet thare male two u bowt tham thare bank kwestshunz

i dun went own two the reguliar 
likes i duz 
 n boi deed i git into a mess uv thangz.

seemz thet twixt 
graneez big mowth n 
reebah blabben awl bowt sum big packege thet i be receevin n 
sarie-mae the fone operaider gossipen over the fone linez thet

tham thare 

awl the gize at checkerz jest a kep 
a teezin n 
a jibben n 
a lawfen n 
a joken n 
a poken fun n 
a saen whut a danged ole fool i iz four beleevin thet i wuz gonna git sum milleonz. i jest a kep a telden tham awl 
thet nobuddee head anee ideer uv a whut thae wuz a tawken bowt. 
thet thare wuz no sech truth two anee thang thet thae wuz a saen. 
thet thare aint no milleonz two evin be a tawken bowt. 
wood nut 
let it go 

a tawken bowt
thet i iz been suckert n 
thet i wuz been konned n 
thet thus hare wuz jest a big ole hoax kawled a skam n 
thet male iz whut u kawl a spam. 
n than i jest blew awl mie gaskits n thru thet checkerz bowrd up against the wall n jest took two kussen tham awl n sed thet it wuz suppost two be a sekrit.

n than i reelized whut i sed n jest stompt own owt uv thare wit awl tham thare gize jest 
a lawfen more n 
a saen ahh haa sew thare iz sum milleonz two be a kepin a sekrit. 
i hollert back at tham thet thae wood jest have two wate n see n the truth wood komed owt. than we well see hoo iz a lawfen at hoo. 
n i jest stompt own home a grumblen two miesef 
thet i dunt think thet thus hare iz no suchamakawlit spam n 
i dew trust thet thare mr jon kertuss n 
everbuddee well jest see four thamsefs whin it awl komez two passt.

i jest am sew boiled up thet i am a jest




n i jest need two git own owt uv thus place n awae frum everbuddee n kool awf. i iz gonna takes mie jug n goez own up intwo the mowntenz n jest tie a good won own. than whin i gits own back i well sand tham thare answerz two tham thare kwestshunz own back two the bank n i well lets u knowed whin i duz.
thus hare aint no spam iz it mr jon kertuss.

oh no hare comez thet ole granee n i aint a tawken two her rite now. i haz two git . . .

copyright © 2008 - 940farms - all rights reserved

1 comment:

scottE-deuw said...

here is the original reply that deuw sent to mr jon kertuss written in deuw-speek:

Date: Fri, 8 Feb 2008 02:56:24 -0800 (PST)
From: erbudee jist kawl mee deuw
To: Jon W. Kertuss

i jist ken nut beeleev sum fowlk. lest niet efter i cent thet thaer mael tu u bowt thaem thaer benk kwestshunz i dun wunt en tu thu regler chekerz tearnemint liek i duz evree thurzdae n boi deed i git entu a mes uv thengs. seamz thet twixt graneez bieg mowth n rebah blaben awl bowt sum bieg pakag thet i bea receeven n sarie-mae thu foen eperater gosepin ovr thu foen lienz thet erbudee en thu hoel hawler iz a tawken bowt thaem thaer milleunz. awl thu giez et chekerz jist a kepta teezin n a jibben n a lawfen n a joekin n a poekin fun n asaein whut a danged ole fewel i iz fer beeleevin thet i wuz gowen tu git sum milleunz. i jist a kepta telden em awl thet noebudee haed enee ideer uv a whut thae wuz a tawken bowt. thet thaer wuz noe sech trueth tu enee theng thet thae wuz a saein. thet thaer aint noe milleunz tu evn bea a tawken bowt. bet thae jist wuwd nut laet et goe a tawken bowt i iz beain sukerd n thet i wuz beain connd n thet theis heer wuz jist a bieg ole hoeks kawld a skaem n thet mael iz whut u kawl a spuhem. n thaen i jist bleuw awl mi gaskits n threuw thet cheker bowrd ep agin thu woel n jist towk tu kussen em awl n sed thet it wuz supoezt tu bea a sekrit. n thaen i reelized whut i sed n jist stumpt owen owt uv thaer wit awl thaem thaer giez jist a lawfen moer n a saein ahh haa sew thaer iz sum milleunz tu bea a kepin a sekrit. i hawlerd beck et em thet thae wuwd jist haev tu waet n cee n thu trueth wuwd coem owt. thaen wee wael cee whu iz a lawfen et whu. n i jist stumpt owen hoem a grumblen tu misef thet i dowent thenk thet theis heer iz noe sechamakawlit spuhem n i dew trestthet thaer mr jon kertuss n erbudee wael jist cee fer thaemsefs whin et awl coems tu passt.

i jist em sew berld ep thet i em a jist smoewken hot steemin maed. n i jist nead tu git owt uv theis plaec n awae frum erbudee n kewel awf. i iz gowen tu taek mi jug n goe owen ep entu thu mowntenz n jist tie a guwd wun owen. thaen whin i gits beck i wael sand thaem thaer ansewrz tu thaem thaer kwestshunz owen beck tu thu benk n i wael laet u knoew whin i duz.

theis heer aint noe spuhem iz et mr jon kertuss.

owh noe heer coemz thet ole granee n i aint a tawken tu heer riet noew. i hafta git . . .

copyright © 2008 - 940farms - all rights reserved