Wednesday, July 9, 2008

7 - million dollar answers

To: the goat herd
Subject: 7 - million dollar answers
Date: Wed, 9 Jul 2008 17:20:30 -0500


welcome 
to the 
newest member 
of the 
goat herd: 

enrique


come on into the corral. everybody give a shout out. all together now: bbbaaaaa, bbbllleeeaaattt, bbbaaahahaha.

------------



thurzdae 
02/07/08 

deer 
dairee



i iz nut eggzaktlee shore whut thet thare scottE karekteer wuz intenden wit awl thus hare jernal riten bet i well trie two kep up. i iz a wunderen whut in tarnaeshun thet thare scottE iz a thinken bowt thus hare deer dairee.

anee buddee knowz thet u jest ken nut milk no raindeerz cuz thae iz wild aneemawlz n nut dumestikated at awl n ifn u goez two trien two milk a raindeerz thae iz lieble two kick uwr head rite awf.

goats iz mulch eezeer two handel



n thare milk makes wae beter buter n cheeze.





thet scottE iz a tuff wun two trie n figer owt.


eksurpts frum the enternashunel bankerz perfeshanul dekshunaree uv deuw-speek
figert - figert
kounten - kounten
milleonz - milleonz
numberz - numberz
stock markit - stock markit
ciefferin - solven a mathmetatikel ekwaeshun
reveenuers - reveenuers


wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Date: Thu, 7 Feb 2008 10:57:13 +0100 (CET)
From: "Jon W. Kertuss"   jon.w.kertuss.2711@yahoo.fr
To: "everbuddee jest kawlz me deuw"   wvdeuw@yahoo.com
Subject: ANSWERS TO BANK QUESTIONS

Dear Deuw,

How are you? I went through the Questions that you were asked by the Bank and these are the answer's of the Qusetions. I can not state effectively enough that you are required to respond with the utmost immediacy. It is imperative and essential that you send these answers to the bank as soon as you receive the mail. i am requesting with primary insistence that you must reply with burning urgency before the time that the bank gave to you will pass.

............answer's............
1) Name: Mr. Hauncel D. Mueller
(2) Nationality: an Austrian by NATIONALITY
3) Occupation: BUSINNESSMAN. Owner of site Mueller and Brothers SARL IMPORT and EXPORT COMPANY.
4) The deceased died on a plane which crashed in October 1999
(5) The deceased died at the age of (70) seventy years
(6) The deceased left cash. The amount of US $14 million USD (FOURTEEN MILLION DOLLARS) in your custody under account number 72513284993
7) Yes, the deceased was married to BARBARA and they had two DAUGHTERS who died along with him
(8) The deceased was residing in Germany at the time of his death. His residential address was MeinPlatz, Sie Röhre, Schwein Sumpf Höhle, Germany
(9) The deceased was a member of the International Gold dealers Association.
10) The deceased was a great Advocate of Humanity while he was alive and contributed to its cause
............ ............ ............

This matter requires your direct immediate attention. There is no time to waste. I have dealt with other members of the INTERNATIONAL INVESTORS BANK with previous transactions and I know firsthand that they will not tolerate any delay. The successful completion of this transaction holds considerable influential importance with significant momentous consequence and substantial weightiness for all of us involved. Please send these answers to the bank immediately and send a mail to my attention once you have completed this assignment.

Thanks you.

JON

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

From: "everbuddee jest kawlz me deuw"   wvdeuw@yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 7 Feb 2008 14:06:33 -0800 (PST)
To: "Jon W. Kertuss"   jon.w.kertuss.2711@yahoo.fr
Subject: Re: ANSWERS TO BANK QUESTIONS

hae thare mr jon kertuss. thanks u kindlee four a sanden tham thare answers. u iz reel good at riten usen awl tham thare fancee werdz bet tham thare werdz wuz two fancee four me two understand

sew i had mie grate gransun skeeter-deen reed awl tham thare fancee werdz two everbuddee whin thae awl wuz back hare at the kabin four dinner time at noon.


we awl iz sew serprizt n joid two find owt bowt thet thare good ole kuzin uv mine hoo wuz a liven awl the wae over thare akross the big oshin in thet thare suchamakawlit place kawlt germainee.


i iz nut shore thet i ken a rite awl uv uwr fancee werdz whin i sandz tham thare answerz own awf two thet thare bank in west afreeka
sew i iz 
a gonna uze 
thet thare trick 
thet skeeter-deen 
dun tawt me bowt 
kopee n paiste
sew i makes shore thet i dunt mizspell anee uv tham thare fancee werdz thet u rote. i shore wood nut have ever knowed whut two have teld thet bank n i shore wood nut have ever knowed bowt thet thare kuzin uv mine bie the name uv hauncel d mueller hoo wuz a liven awl the wae over thare akross the big oshin in thet thare suchamakawlit place kawlt germainee.

after skeeter dun finisht reedin awl uwr fancee answerz the twinz beuw-deen n darel pipet up a asken bowt thet thare kuzin.
thae saez 
wit a name like 
thet thare kuzin had 
wuz he 
the miller 
at the grist mill.

well i saez now i have a gaven thet kunsiderable thawt n the waez thet i figerz it u wood pernounce hiz name sech as hanz cell dee mewler. thet thare kuzin uv hourz must have bin a kawlt hanz dee mewl celler.
n skeeter-deen saez thet iz a reel good interpertashun uv thet tranzlashun. i dunt knowed thet u kood 
sprechen duh deutsche

n everbuddee jest kind uv starred at him n sed huh whut u talken bowt skeeter. thet skeeter-deen. sum timez he iz jest two smairt four anee buddee two understand. sew i jest saez well thet thare jest seemz two be the most logikal definishun uv sech a germain name.

good ole kuzin hanz dee mewl celler.


n i iz a guessin thet hanz wuz a reel good mewl celler two have made sew manee milleonz jest a cellen mewlz. even at a fare price it wood take a hole lot uv mewl cellen 
two make fourteen milleonz.

skeeter explaned thet in order four hanz two have made sew manee milleonz frum cellen mewlz thet he wood have had two cell mewlz owtside uv hiz own hill kuntree in germainee. thet he wood have had two have bin a cellen mewlz two other hill kuntreez
witch must have bin whie mr jon kertuss sed thet hanz wuz in the importen n exporten bizness. thet thare skeeter-deen. he iz jest sew smairt.



we awl iz sew joid two find owt bowt thet thare kuzin uv mine bie the name uv hanz dee mewl celler hoo wuz a liven awl the wae over thare akross the big oshin in thet thare suchamakawlit place kawlt germainee.
i thinks it iz sech a shame thet i never deed git two knowed thet thare kuzin uv mine afour he passt own two thu udder side two hiz reeward. dien in a areoplane krash. him n 
hiz hole familee. sech a tragedee.

good ole kuzin hanz dee mewl celler.

i aint got mulch werk dun latelee wit awl thus hare a figerin owt uv tham thare kwestshunz frum thet thare bank in west afreeka. i problee ownlee werkt bowt six uv tham thare tweentee four hourz


thet thet thare bank in west afreeka gaved me two figer owt sum answerz bet i knowed figerin owt tham thare answerz wuz more importent n took presidents over maken mie rhuematizm medasine bet boihowdee everbuddee shore iz a klamoren four more uv mie moonshine i meen rhuematizm medasine bet thet well jest have two wate.

well i jest dunt knowz whare thus afternoon haz dun gawn awf two. time shore iz a flien bie faster nowadaze. 


i well be 
in town 
sum now 
four a wile 
sincen 
therzdae 
iz awl waze 
the 
checkerz 
tournamint


bet jest az soon az i gits back frum checkerz i well be sanden tham thare fancee answerz thet u rote own awf two thet thare bank in west afreeka.

cencerelee deuw



copyright © 2008 - 940farms - all rights reserved



7 comments:

Anonymous said...

It waz reel nyz he giv y'all them smart anzers.

tricia

scottE-deuw said...

haw haw haw!!! tricia, u jest dun maed mee lawf riet owt lowd wit ur rieten!!! thenk ya kiendly!!!

bbbaaaaa, bbbllleeeaaattt, bbbaaahahaha

i especially enjoyed deuw's interpretation of the translation of his german cousin's name: hauncel d. mueller.
of course the most logical definition of such a german name would be: hanz dee mewl celler.

thanks for writing!!!

hope ya enjoy a great weekend!!!

scottE-deuw

Anonymous said...

Date: Tuesday, August 26, 2008, 7:00 PM
From: phillyT
Subject: wooohooo!
To: wvdeuw@yahoo.com

I tride sendin a repli tu yer blog thing ther but, I kud not figyer out a passwerd...
I am shorly emprest....
Me, pa and all ma kids an goats are emprest by you Deuw... Ma Famlee iz pert prowd of you an yer yungins figrin out all them fancee schmantze words an sutch.
Ifn wen you git yer muni, do ya think that mabee I could git me some fensin tuls?
Holer at me sun.
Yor Pal, Fylus Ann

LOL!
I really had a chance to go through all of your blogs at once and I have never laughed so hard!

You definitely got the Beverly Hillbillies down pat dontcha??
Well, I hope all is going well with you and I may see you soon... call me when you have a chance..

Talk soon!

phillyT

Anonymous said...

Date: Tuesday, August 26, 2008, 7:00 PM
From: phillyT
Subject: wooohooo!
To: wvdeuw@yahoo.com

I tride sendin a repli tu yer blog thing ther but, I kud not figyer out a passwerd...
I am shorly emprest....
Me, pa and all ma kids an goats are emprest by you Deuw... Ma Famlee iz pert prowd of you an yer yungins figrin out all them fancee schmantze words an sutch.
Ifn wen you git yer muni, do ya think that mabee I could git me some fensin tuls?
Holer at me sun.
Yor Pal, Fylus Ann

LOL!
I really had a chance to go through all of your blogs at once and I have never laughed so hard!

You definitely got the Beverly Hillbillies down pat dontcha??
Well, I hope all is going well with you and I may see you soon... call me when you have a chance..

Talk soon!

phillyT

scottE-deuw said...

Date: September 10, 2008 1:20:12 PM CDT
hay thare phillyT!!! thenks fer riten!!! u iz thu owenlee purson en thu gowet herd whu dun rote to mi emale adress: wvdeuw@yahoo.com

i iz sew glaed thet u awl iz finden thet thare stowree sew funnee!!! n u ken rite thus hear deuw-speek reel gud. u iz sew smaert!!!

shure nuff, whin thaem milleunz git hear i well sand u awl wun uv theam thare mattressez fild wit sum uv thet thare grene papre munee fer u awl tu bi sum fensin tuls.

cencerelee, scottE-deuw

scottE-deuw said...

here is the original reply that deuw sent to mr jon kertuss written in deuw-speek:

From: everbuddee jest kawlz me deuw wvdeuw@yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 7 Feb 2008 14:06:33 -0800 (PST)
To: Jon W. Kertuss jon.w.kertuss.2711@yahoo.fr
Subject: Re: ANSWERS TO BANK QUESTIONS

hae thaer mr jon kertuss. thenks fer sanden thaem thaer ansewrz. u iz reel guwd et rieten uzen awl thaem thaer fansee werdz bet thaem thaer werdz wuz tu fansee fer mee tu enderstend sew i haed mi graet grensun skeeter-deen reed awl thaem thaer fancee werdz tu erbudee whin thae awl wuz beck heer et thu kaben fer denair tiem et newen. wee awl iz sew serprized n joid tu fiend owt bowt thet thaer guwd ole cuzin uv mien whu wuz leiven awl thu wae ovr thaer akros thu bieg oshin en thet thaer sechamakawlit plaec kawld jurmaenee.

i em nut shuer thet i ken riet awl uwr fansee werdz whin i sand thaem thaer ansewrz awf tu thet thaer benk en weast afreeka sew i iz gowen tu uz thet thaer trek thet skeeter-deen dun tawt mee bowt kupee n paest sew i maek shuer thet i dowent mezspiel enee uv thaem thaer fansee werdz thet u rowet. i shuer wuwd nut haev evr knoewen whut tu haev teld thet benk n i shuer wuwd nut haev evr knoewen bowt thet thaer cuzin uv mien naem uv hauncel d mueller whu wuz leiven awl thu wae ovr thaer akros thu bieg oshin en thet thaer sechamakawlit plaec kawld jurmaenee.

efter skeeter dun fenusht reeden awl uwr fansee ansewrz thu twinz beuw-deen n darel piept ep a esken bowt thet thaer cuzin. thae sez wit a naem liek thet thaer cuzin haed wuz hee thu miller et thu griest mill. wael i sez i haev geivn thet kunciderabel thawt n thu wae thet i figerz et u wuwd pernownct hez naem sech ez hanz cell dee mewler. thet thaer cuzin uv owrs mest haev bin kawld hanz dee mewl celler. n skeeter-deen sez thet iz a reel guwd enterpurtashun uv thet trenzlashun. i dint knoew thet u kuwd sprechen duh deutsche n erbudee jist kiend uv staerd et hem n sed huh whut u tawken bowt skeeter. thet skeeter-deen. sumtiemz hee iz jist tu smaert fer eneebudee tu enderstend. sew i jist sez wael thet seamz tu bea thu mowest lojikel defienishun uv sech a jurmaen naem.

guwd ole cuzin hanz dee mewl celler.

(continued in next comment . . .)

scottE-deuw said...

n i iz a gessen thet hanz wuz a reel guwd mewl celler tu haev maed sew menee milleunz jist a cellen mewls. evn et a faer priec et wuwd taek a hoel lewt uv mewl cellen tu maek fowertean milleunz.

skeeter eksplaned thet en owrder fer hanz tu haev maed sew manee milleunz frum cellen mewls thet hee wuwd haev haed tu cell mewls owtsied uv hez owen heel kuntree en jurmaenee. thet hee wuwd haev haed tu haev bin cellen mewls tu uder heel kuntrees whitch mest haev bin whi mr jon kertuss sed thet hanz wuz en thu emporten n eksporten biznes. thet thaer skeeter-deen. hee iz jist sew smaert.

wee awl iz sew joid tu fiend owt bowt thet thaer guwd ole cuzin uv mien naem uv hanz dee mewl celler whu wuz a leiven awl thu wae ovr thaer akros thu bieg oshin en thet thaer sechamakawlit plaec kawld jurmaenee. i thenks et iz sech a shaem thet i nevr git tu knoewd thet thaer cuzin uv mien afower hee passt owen tu thu uder sied tu hez reaword. dien en a areoplaen cresh. hem n hez howel famelee. sech a trejadee.

guwd ole cuzin hanz dee mewl celler.

i aint git mech werk dun laetlee wit awl theis figeren owt uv thaem thaer kwestshunz frum thet thaer benk en weast afreeka. i problee owenlee werkt bowt sex uv thaem thaer twenee fower owrs thet thet thaer benk en weast afreeka gaev mee tu figer owt sum ansewrz bet i kneuw figeren owt thaem thaer ansewrz wuz moer emportent n towk presidents ovr maeken mi rumatiz mideseen bet boihouwedee erbudee shuer iz a klamerin fer moer uv mi moowenshien i meen rumatiz mideseen bet thet wael jist hafta waet.

wael i jist dowent knoew whaer theis efternewen hez goen awf tu. tiem shuer iz flien bi fester noewadaez. i wael bea en towen sum noew fer a wiel sinsen thurzdae iz awl waez thu chekerz tearnemint bet jist ez suen ez i git beck frum chekerz i wael bea sanden thaem thaer fansee ansewrz thet u rowet owen awf tu thet thaer benk en weast afreeka.

cencerelee deuw



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