Subject: 6 - official document
Date: Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:09:20 -0500
wow!!! that bank questionnaire is very elaborate!!! i wonder if the scammers think that sending such an official looking document will prompt deuw to take immediate action. i guess they still have a lot to learn about good ole deuw.
i wonder if there really is anyone out there who gets involved in this scam and really thinks that they are going to get 30% of 14m.
i wonder what other responses these scammers get. it's difficult for me to believe that the scammers would think anyone could possibly take them seriously. it's even more difficult for me to believe that anyone could possibly take the scammers seriously. i guess that's what makes deuw so interesting and hilarious - he picks up on the most bizarre elements of the scammer's email and starts to believe those as truths and just goes off on a tangent. good ole deuw. what a character - he's just sooo oblivious!!!
i remember this morning i woke up thinking about deuw. well i may have even dreamt about him . . . i'm not sure . . . i just spent some time thinking about other crazy tangents that deuw could go off on and couldn't help laughing to myself. when i checked my blood pressure it was 123/76. hhhmmmmm . . . laughter really is good medicine.
but i have noticed that there are times when it seems as if it is becoming more and . . .
more . . . diff . . . i . . . cult . . . two kep thus hare scottE karekteer owt uv mie head . . .
From: "everbuddee jest kawlz me deuw" firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: Thu, 7 Feb 2008 06:56:41 -0800 (PST)
To: "Jon W. Kertuss" email@example.com
Subject: Fwd: QUESTIONNAIRE FROM INTERNATIONAL INVESTORS BANK
hae thare mr jon kertuss. i iz a telden u now thet awl thus hare newfangeld teknawlogee iz jest two mulch four mie ole brane two handel. two mulch jest two mulch i tellz u. whie mie dawter seuw-deen n me spended neerlee two hourz trien two figer owt thet thare bank male. we dun lookt at thet male ever witch a wae n jest kood nut makes heads nor talez uv it awl. i jest a kep wishen thet thet grate gransun skeeter-deen wood a show hiz sef. he problee iz the ownlee wun hoo kood figer owt sech edvanct kompewtin masheen kind uv stuf.
finelee mie gransun steuw-deen showed up bet awl he kood dew wuz a scretch hiz head kind uv dumfownd like. i jest a kep saen whare iz thet skeeter. than the twinz beuw-deen n darel showed up. u knowz thet ole saen bowt two headz a been beter than wun. sew the twinz put thare two headz twogetter. beuw-deen putted hiz rite brane two worken n darel putted hiz laft brane two worken bet thare two branez worken twogetter steel kood nut figer owt nuttin wit thet male.
i eskt again bowt whare iz thet skeeter-deen bet nobuddee had seened him awl dae. than mie grate grate gran-dawter klaircie-jeen kamed bie two see granee n two showz awf her new babeez n i eskt her ifn she had seened skeeter-deen at awl n she sed thet she had seened him awae far up north in the krick a swimmen wit hiz ole pat gater.
sew i teld her two git own up thare n git him. we iz a needin hiz hep. hurree it own up now. dunt dawdle nun. git own a gowin n fatch him own back hare.
n shore a nuff good ole skeeter-deen dun finelee figert owt how two opin thet thare male frum thet thare bank in west afreeka n he kommenct reciten thet hole awffishell dokumint two everbuddee
n everbuddee wuz sew serprizt n joid two find owt thet we awl had a kuzin thet nobuddee knowed anee thang bowt a liven awl the wae over thare akross the big oshin.
hae skeeter komez own back hare n showz me again how two sand tham kwestshunz two mr jon kertuss.
(1) State the full name of the deceased? (2) State his nationality? (3) State his occupation? (4) State clearly the date the deceased died and what lead to his death? (5) How old was the deceased when he died? (6) The deceased left what in our custody? (7) Was the deceased married? If yes, state his wife’s name and how many children they had if any? (8) What country did the deceased reside and state his residential address? )9) Was the deceased a member of any registered organization? (10) Any other valid information about the deceased will be helpful in your approval as his next of Kin.
aint thet jest sum thang.
spookee suppernatchural smairt
kind uv like a jeenieass.
he problee gits thet frum hiz ma.
she wuz a foreignar
thet mie gransun steuw-deen
wuz a messin wit back whin.
her name wuz mareea-kalzalmoff.
aint thet jest sum kind uv a name.
sew we jest kawlt her mare.
n she wuz
awl the time
a talken bowt
awl the time
a talken bowt
she shore a nuff wuz a enterastin gerl.
sew i iz a gessin thet twixt her jipseein n
awl thet smairt stuff dun got passt own down two skeeter. hare iz a kind uv funnee thang bowt how skeeter got hiz name. whin he wuz borned hiz jipsee ma dint beeleeve in namen a babee til u got two knowz hiz pearsunalitee.
whin skeeter wuz a babee he jest never kried.
nut evin a whimper.
nut evin a whimper.
awl he wood dew wuz sort uv hum like n whin we awl wood holded him up two hour earz n listaned reel klose like he sort uv sownded like a swarm uv skeeterz buzzin rownd.
sew everbuddee jest took two kawlin him skeeter. aint thet jest sum thang now.
anee waze i dunt knowz whut two answerz two tham thare kwestshunz sew u jest lets me knowz whut awl u thinks i shood tellz tham at thet thare bank in west afreeka n i well shore a nuff sand thet male rite awf.
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