Monday, June 16, 2008

6 - official document

To: the goat herd
Subject: 6 - official document
Date: Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:09:20 -0500


thursday 
02/07/08 

dear 
diary:



wow!!! that bank questionnaire is very elaborate!!! i wonder if the scammers think that sending such an official looking document will prompt deuw to take immediate action. i guess they still have a lot to learn about good ole deuw.

he 
is 
really 
developing 
into 
quite 

unique 
character. 
 


i wonder if there 
really is 
anyone like 
deuw 
out there.

i wonder if there really is anyone out there who gets involved in this scam and really thinks that they are going to get 30% of 14m.

i wonder what other responses these scammers get. it's difficult for me to believe that the scammers would think anyone could possibly take them seriously. it's even more difficult for me to believe that anyone could possibly take the scammers seriously. i guess that's what makes deuw so interesting and hilarious - he picks up on the most bizarre elements of the scammer's email and starts to believe those as truths and just goes off on a tangent. good ole deuw. what a character - he's just sooo oblivious!!!

i remember this morning i woke up thinking about deuw. well i may have even dreamt about him . . . i'm not sure . . . i just spent some time thinking about other crazy tangents that deuw could go off on and couldn't help laughing to myself. when i checked my blood pressure it was 123/76. hhhmmmmm . . . laughter really is good medicine.

but i have noticed that there are times when it seems as if it is becoming more and . . . 

 

more . . . diff . . . i . . . cult . . . two kep thus hare scottE karekteer owt uv mie head . . .

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

From: "everbuddee jest kawlz me deuw"   wvdeuw@yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 7 Feb 2008 06:56:41 -0800 (PST)
To: "Jon W. Kertuss"   jon.w.kertuss.2711@yahoo.fr
Subject: Fwd: QUESTIONNAIRE FROM INTERNATIONAL INVESTORS BANK

hae thare mr jon kertuss. i iz a telden u now thet awl thus hare newfangeld teknawlogee iz jest two mulch four mie ole brane two handel. two mulch jest two mulch i tellz u. whie mie dawter seuw-deen n me spended neerlee two hourz trien two figer owt thet thare bank male. we dun lookt at thet male ever witch a wae n jest kood nut makes heads nor talez uv it awl. i jest a kep wishen thet thet grate gransun skeeter-deen wood a show hiz sef. he problee iz the ownlee wun hoo kood figer owt sech edvanct kompewtin masheen kind uv stuf.


finelee mie gransun steuw-deen showed up bet awl he kood dew wuz a scretch hiz head kind uv dumfownd like. i jest a kep saen whare iz thet skeeter. than the twinz beuw-deen n darel showed up. u knowz thet ole saen bowt two headz a been beter than wun. sew the twinz put thare two headz twogetter. beuw-deen putted hiz rite brane two worken n darel putted hiz laft brane two worken bet thare two branez worken twogetter steel kood nut figer owt nuttin wit thet male. 

 

i eskt again bowt whare iz thet skeeter-deen bet nobuddee had seened him awl dae. than mie grate grate gran-dawter klaircie-jeen kamed bie two see granee n two showz awf her new babeez n i eskt her ifn she had seened skeeter-deen at awl n she sed thet she had seened him awae far up north in the krick a swimmen wit hiz ole pat gater.


sew i teld her two git own up thare n git him. we iz a needin hiz hep. hurree it own up now. dunt dawdle nun. git own a gowin n fatch him own back hare.

n shore a nuff good ole skeeter-deen dun finelee figert owt how two opin thet thare male frum thet thare bank in west afreeka n he kommenct reciten thet hole awffishell dokumint two everbuddee

dtd.jpg

n everbuddee wuz sew serprizt n joid two find owt thet we awl had a kuzin thet nobuddee knowed anee thang bowt a liven awl the wae over thare akross the big oshin.

hae skeeter komez own back hare n showz me again how two sand tham kwestshunz two mr jon kertuss.

(1) State the full name of the deceased? (2) State his nationality? (3) State his occupation? (4) State clearly the date the deceased died and what lead to his death? (5) How old was the deceased when he died? (6) The deceased left what in our custody? (7) Was the deceased married? If yes, state his wife’s name and how many children they had if any? (8) What country did the deceased reside and state his residential address? )9) Was the deceased a member of any registered organization? (10) Any other valid information about the deceased will be helpful in your approval as his next of Kin.
 


thet skeeter-deen iz jest sew smairt.
he sed thet he deed sum thang kawlt kopee n paiste.
aint thet jest sum thang.


thet skeeter-deen iz jest sum kind uv 
spookee suppernatchural smairt 
kind uv like a jeenieass.


he problee gits thet frum hiz ma.

she wuz a foreignar 
jipsee woman 
thet mie gransun steuw-deen 
wuz a messin wit back whin. 
her name wuz mareea-kalzalmoff. 
aint thet jest sum kind uv a name. 
sew we jest kawlt her mare. 

 n she wuz 
awl the time 
a talken bowt 
hexes n 
poeshunz n 
wharewolfes 
n sech.

she shore a nuff wuz a enterastin gerl.

sew i iz a gessin thet twixt her jipseein n
graneez 
supperstishus 
voodooin





awl thet smairt stuff dun got passt own down two skeeter. hare iz a kind uv funnee thang bowt how skeeter got hiz name. whin he wuz borned hiz jipsee ma dint beeleeve in namen a babee til u got two knowz hiz pearsunalitee.
whin skeeter wuz a babee he jest never kried. 
nut evin a whimper.
awl he wood dew wuz sort uv hum like n whin we awl wood holded him up two hour earz n listaned reel klose like he sort uv sownded like a swarm uv skeeterz buzzin rownd.

sew everbuddee jest took two kawlin him skeeter. aint thet jest sum thang now.

anee waze i dunt knowz whut two answerz two tham thare kwestshunz sew u jest lets me knowz whut awl u thinks i shood tellz tham at thet thare bank in west afreeka n i well shore a nuff sand thet male rite awf.

cencerelee, deuw


copyright © 2008 - 940farms - all rights reserved



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

scottE-deuw said...

here is the original reply that deuw sent to mr jon kertuss written in deuw-speek:

Date: Thu, 7 Feb 2008 06:56:41 -0800 (PST)
From: erbudee jist kawl mee deuw wvdeuw@yahoo.com
To: Jon W. Kertuss jon.w.kertuss.2711@yahoo.fr
Subject: Fwd: QUESTIONNAIRE FROM INTERNATIONAL INVESTORS BANK

hae thaer mr jon kertuss. i iz a telden u noew thet awl theis heer neuw fangeld teknawlogee iz jist tu muwch fer mi ole braen tu handel. tu muwch jist tu muwch i telz u. whi mi dawter seuw-deen n i spend neerbee tu owrs trien tu figer owt thet thaer benk mael. wee dun lewkt et thet mael evree whitchawae n jist kuwd nut maek haeds ner taels uv et awl. i jist a kepta wishen thet thet graet grensun skeeter-deen wuwd ashoew hezsef. hee problee iz thu owenlee wun whu kuwd figer owt suwch eevanct kumpuwetin masheen kiend uv stuf.

fienlee mi grensun steuw-deen shoewd ep bet awl hee kuwd dew wuz a scratsh hez haed kiend uv dumfownd liek. i jist a kepta saein whaer iz thet skeeter. thaen thu twinz beuw-deen n darel shoewd ep. u knoew thet ole saein bowt tu haeds abeaen beter thaen wun. sew thu twinz puwet thaer tu haeds tugeter. beuw-deen puwet hez riet braen tu werken n darel puwet hez leaft braen tu werken bet thaer tu braens werken tugeter steel kuwd nut figer owt nuten wit thet mael. i eskt agen bowt whaer iz thet skeeter-deen bet noebudee haed ceen hem awl dae. thaen mi graet graet grendawter klaircie-jeen caem bi tu cee granee n tu shoew awf heer neuw babeez n i eskt heer ifn shee haed ceen skeeter-deen etawl n shee sed thet shee haed ceen hem awae fer ep nowerth en thu crik a swiemen wit hez ole paet gater. sew i telz heer tu git owen ep thaer n git hem. wee iz aneaden hez hep. huree et owen ep noew. dowent dawtel nun. git owen agoen n fetch hem owen beck heer.

n shuer nuff guwd ole skeeter-deen dun fienlee figered owt houwe tu opin thet thaer mael frum thet thaer benk en weast afreeka n hee komaenst recieten thet hoel awfishel dawkeemint tu erbudee n erbudee wuz sew serprized n joid tu fiend owt thet wee awl haed a cuzin thet noebudee kneuw eneetheng bowt leiven awl thu wae ovr thaer akros thu bieg oshin.

hae skeeter coem owen beck heer n shoewz mee agen houwe tu sand thaem kwestshunz tu mr jon kertuss.

(1) State the full name of the deceased? (2) State his nationality? (3) State his occupation? (4) State clearly the date the deceased died and what lead to his death? (5) How old was the deceased when he died? (6) The deceased left what in our custody? (7) Was the deceased married? If yes, state his wife’s name and how many children they had if any? (8) What country did the deceased reside and state his residential address? )9) Was the deceased a member of any registered organization? (10) Any other valid information about the deceased will be helpful in your approval as his next of Kin.

scottE-deuw said...

thet skeeter-deen iz jist sew smaert. hee sed thet hee deed sumtheng kawld kupee n paest. aint thet jist sumtheng. thet skeeter-deen iz jist sum kiend uv spookee sewpurnecharel smaert kiend uv liek a jeenieass. hee problee gits thet frum hez maw. shee wuz a feraner jipsee womaen thet mi grensun steuw-deen wuz a messen wit beck whin. heer naem wuza mareea-kalzalmoff. aint thet jist sum kiend uv naem. sew wee jist kawld heer mare. n shee wuz awl thu tiem a tawken bowt hexcez n poeshunz n whaerwulfs n suwch. shee shuer nuff wuz a enteristen gerl. sew i em a gessen thet twixt heer jipseein n graneez sewpurstishus vuduin awl thet smaert stuf dun git passt owen doewn tu skeeter. heer iz a kiend uv funee theng bowt houwe skeeter git hez naem. whin hee wuz boern hez jipsee maw dint beeleev en naemin a babee til u git tu knoew hez persunaltee. whin skeeter wuz a babee hee jist nevr kried. nut evn a whimpr. awl hee wuwd dew wuz cert uv hum liek n whin u heald hem tu uwr eer hee cert uv sowended liek a swerm uv skeeterz buzn rowund. sew erbudee jist towk tu kawlen hem skeeter. aint thet sumtheng noew.

eneewaez i dowent knoew whut tu ansewr tu thaem thaer kwestshunz sew u jist laet mee knoew whut awl u thenk i shuwd teld thaem et thet thaer benk en weast afreeka n i wael shuer nuff sand thet mael riet awf.

cencerelee, deuw



copyright © 2008 - 940farms - all rights reserved

Anonymous said...

hi, new to the site, thanks.